Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
