I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
