she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
