girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
