I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
