I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Enjoy the penises
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
