"it" just moved
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
