that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize