my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
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