ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
