If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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