yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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