So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
