Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
