Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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