I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
