I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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