my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
