So drunk its hurt
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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