Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
