I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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