In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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