The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
