My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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