absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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