Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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