i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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