She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
