wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
