Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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