Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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