What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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