Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
