guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She's the barista slut.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
