can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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