I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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