I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
