she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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