Buhtt sex?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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