The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
