Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
