i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
