just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
