at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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