so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
