I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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