My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
