Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
