is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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