I was born with a shot glass in my hand
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i out mim tonsoeep
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