Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
