where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
