i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
