Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
