Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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