my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays