R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
