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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

  Fav 29 1006 3796

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.

  Fav 36 1942 7365

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I told you not to have sex with her on my futon

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I didnt dude, i swear!

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon

  Fav 19 3057 7017

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?

  Fav 5 3227 1511

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.

  Fav 9 973 4110

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.

  Fav 12 3693 1120

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up

  Fav 4 894 1164

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...

  Fav 4 682 1285

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like

  Fav 0 1072 565

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• (831): View more from California

  I won't be able to get a boner for a month

  (916): View more from California

  Challenge accepted.

  Fav 5 1606 654

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• (904): View more from Florida

  im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.

  Fav 5 1026 708

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Kings cup with teenagers tonight

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Done deal

  Fav 1 626 544

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.

  Fav 10 799 986

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.

  Fav 1 514 426

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch

  Fav 0 66 14

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