My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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