I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
