She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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