my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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