there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
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Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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